Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Throwing in the towel

I give up. I've had enough of all of this. I've reached the end of my rope with everything. I'm tired of trying to sell our condo. What does it matter we've lost the house we wanted. Granted no one else has bought it yet (at least not that we know of) but it will be gone before we ever sell our condo.

I'm tired of trying to have a baby. What made me think that anyone would want me as their mother. I've just come to the conclusion that I'll die alone and that on one will care.

I know something is wrong with me. I can just be sitting at my desk at work or at home and I'll just start crying. I can't get anyone to help me though. I can be in a room full of people and feel so utterly and completely alone and unwanted.

I won't be back here. I can't see the point. Bye.

19 comments:

Mary said...

Oh Jenn!
Don't give up. It's just a tough time for you. I am sorry about the condo not getting sold. Keep trying. It won't hurt. The house isn't sold either so there is still a big chance things will fall into place.
As for having a baby, you will have one. It will come in time and you will be a great mom!!!!
You will not be alone. You have Paul and you have friends that care deeply about you.
Many hugs!!!
Mary

Barb Briggs said...

Jenn, I know I don't know you very well but you have always been so kind to me. Please have faith that everything will work out. I enjoy looking at your blog and would miss it if you stopped.

Barb

Barb said...

Don't give up Jenn! Right now it's bad all over trying to sell a house or condo. My parents are trying to sell their house, we know it may take a year or two. So don't give up. As far as the baby, have you tried a support group you will find you are not alone. I have many friends who have gone through what you are going through. Just hang in there there is light at the end of the tunnel. I appreciate the notes you have left on my site and I'm sure others appreciate the notes you post to their blogs.

Michelle said...

Jenn, BIG HUGS!! You are appreciated and you are not alone. I know it feels that way when you feel like the world is crashing in on you and it's like you're the only one who feels that way. I completely understand where you're at and have been feeling that way myself lately. Take a break from it for awhile and regain your perspective. It will all work out. I am sure you'll be a great mom - how could you not...you stitch!!!

Stitchermommy said...

Oh Jenn! Please don't give up! I think that you are a great girl that deserves all the best. Having a baby can be hard and like others have said it is just not a good time to be selling a house. Maybe you may need to go to the doctor's and see if there si something that can be done. There is no shame in needing a little boost to pep you up. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE email me before giving up.

Beth
meye2cuties@gmail.com

Jules said...

Jenn, I've been there - so many times! You won't believe me at the moment but things WILL get better. I've been through the crying and feeling all alone thing very recently, in the last week or so, and for not such good reasons as you, and you do come out the other side. I won't pretend that I know you or know exactly how you're feeling but what you said in your post really struck a cord with me. If only I'd been brave enough to write it down perhaps it would have made me feel better and I hope it will make you feel better in time. Chin up, petal. We're all here for you. xx

Jenni said...

Definitely sounds like you need lots of hugs! I'm so sorry that you are going to a rough spot (or is that spots) right now and I really do hope things start to look up for you. I don't think that the ability to easily get pregnant has anything to do with the ability to be a good mom. Your little bundle of joy is just waiting for the right moment to show up.

Redwitch said...

Jenn! Please don't go, you were the first person to comment on my blog and I was so thrilled! Things will get better for you, I would agree with the previous advice to go see your doctor and above all be kind to yourself. I've been where you are and I know it's not pretty, but there are ways to get through it. {{{big hugs}}}

Anonymous said...

Jenn,
Don't throw in the towel. Your going through a rough time and we are all here for you. If you need to vent we will listen. As for the house market it is slow everywhere. My neighborhood has had 3-4 houses up for sale since the summer and still haven't sold. As for having a baby have you tried going to the doctor and finding out why you aren't pregnant yet? I agree with the others find a support group or talk here. I really don't want you to go. I enjoy reading your blog. What you really need is a group hug from those who care. Email me if you need to talk.
(((HUGS))),
Carolyn

Karen said...

Jenn, I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling so down. How frustrating it must be for you right now. I think everyone experiences highs and lows at some point, but we always manage to come through. I have been reading your blog for quite some time and I would dearly miss you if you gave up now. I do hope you follow the advice given about seeing a doctor. There can be no harm in that. I do wish you all of the best and hopefully things will straighten out for you soon. *Big Hugs*

Missy said...

(((hugs))))

I know it is hard, but hang in there. I think of you every day and will keep you in my prayers. Hopefully you got my email.

: )

Karen said...

{{Hugs}} Jenn! I have felt like you do many times. Last week, actually, was a very bad week for me. I was questioning everything, from my job (which I'm so sick of), to my marriage, to the whole having a child issue...you name it! Everything seemed so negative. But sure enough I'm feeling better this week. Sometimes its just a really rough spot, sometimes its hormonal and all the stresses you've been dealing with seem magnified. But whatever you do, don't throw in the towel! Remember what Scarlet O'Hara said, "After all, tomorrow is another day!" With every tomorrow there is a chance things will be better!

Shelleen said...

Jenn, don't give up. Houses are not selling around here right now either. Having a baby can take time and you must feel so frustrated but it is worth the wait. Hang in there and you have family and friends that care.

Juul :o) said...

Hi Jenn, I'm shouting across the ocean:

COME BACK!!!

Please?

Nothing stays the same, things will change!

Don't do this to yourself and to us!
We're going to be sick of worry-ing!!!
Wrong spelling, but you understand what I mean!

Please!?!?!?
Make something from nothing, you can do it!

Juul :o) said...

Whats the point???
He Jenn, you have internet friends here!!!
Thats the point! Being friends!

Talk to us, you are not alone!
We are here.
:o)

Lana said...

Hang in there, Jenn!!!! I feel the same way at times, days when I just want to crawl back into bed, cover my head with the covers and never come out again, and let the world pass on without me! But you have to push through it! I am thinking of you, girl! Please don't go away! I would miss you!
~Lana~

Heather said...

Jenn, sorry you're having a hard time at the moment. Please don't give up.

I remember saying I'd be stuck in my house with neighbours from hell, for the rest of my days and it got to me and then on a dark and miserable day a couple came round and fell in love with it and put in an offer (I rejected that silly offer, but they went to just about the asking price as I suspected they would) and I finally got my house sold.

I have a friend who was desperately trying for a baby, it was the be all and end all in her life. I told her to give up trying and just let it happen, like it did for me. 6 months later she was calling me to tell me that my theory worked and she was expecting a baby.

Just take care, relax and try not to stress yourself out. That will be having an affect and I am positive that as soon as the house thing settles, the baby thing will happen unexpectedly.

Take care and please keep in touch, I'm here if you need me.

{{{hugs}}}
Heather

Chiara said...

Dear Jenn,
I'm very sorry you have so a bad moment...don't give up. Everything will turn well...
I apreciate you very much :o)
hugs
Chiara

Samplerwench said...

No Jenn.. Don't give up..Being down happens to all of us at one time or another.. If we never had any lows in our lives ..we could never appreciate the highs..

As for losing the house you want..sometimes those things can be a blessing in disguise and there is something better for you..you just don't know it at the time..

Jenn you are under alot of stress..Try and relax and not dwell on everything and it will all work out..I think you will be a great mom too..